Esquire has named Rihanna “the sexiest woman alive” but I’m not quite sure that the magazine really understands what sexy means. Given I’m neither male nor a subscriber, maybe I’m not their target audience, but I would argue that seaweed and dirt are almost universally a turn-off. I mean, have you smelled seaweed recently? Not exactly an aphrodisiac. But the men’s mag decided to dress their sexy woman in the smelly green stuff and have her roll around in mud and driftwood. Gross.
Like so many pop stars before her, Rihanna is trying to stay relevant by selling her sexiness and/or her dirtiness. She started out singing songs about dancing, now she’s singing about whips and chains. And now there’s this photo shoot, which is just so contrived and so not sexy that it’s almost embarrassing.
Who knows whose idea it was to dress up the beauty in ocean waste, but it’s a shame someone didn’t speak up. First of all, they need to stop featuring Rihanna as some mermaid/island maven. It’s overdone. We get it. She’s Barbadian. Can we see her in a dress now please?
And second of all, if they insist on dressing her like a dehydrated victim of a shipwreck, can we at least get her to exude some sexiness? She looks weary and a little bit dead in the eyes.
All I’m saying is that I agree that Rihanna is worthy of the sexiest woman alive title, but that she and her team aren’t doing her any favors by taking her provocativeness to a bawdy or vulgar level. Courtney Stodden, the teen-bride who married that old effing gross actor dude, is an example of sexiness done wrong. And if Rihanna keeps this up, she won’t be far behind the teenager who has drawn on abs and tweets about being aroused 24 hours straight.
Sometimes less is more, you know? Rihanna’s clearly a hot Hot HOT young woman, but dress anyone up in sea detritus and they’ll look like a hot, putrid mess.
Do you think Rihanna’s photos are sexy? Do you think she’s trying too hard?